Our Family Mantra- In this Family it is OK to Make Mistakes

When the boys were little we used to say “In this family, it’s ok to make mistakes”… we said it a lot. We started saying it for them, because they were little and messed up a lot but pretty quickly realized that it was a lesson we needed to learn as well. If mostly, kids […]

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Assertive Bill of Rights for the Holiday Season You Choose

I share some version of this every holiday season- for some reason holiday stress seems to be showing up early this year. Healthy attachment is at the core of my work. Attachment is how we want to raise our kids and how we want to be partnered and attachment is why the people we love […]

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Why I Hate November Rerun

This was my personal FB post this morning- “Evidence that I should not be in charge of my own schedule… today I have 7 clients scheduled, Zach’s conferences scheduled over my lunch hour, I am on call for the Helpline…which has been hopping all week, I am committed to posting a blog post before bed […]

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Being 3 is Hard…and Everyone I Know is Still Kind of 3

Being three is a year of big feelings. I wonder what it must feel like to spend  years learning to communicate, only to find that people just don’t do what you tell them to do. It must be endlessly frustrating that we don’t cut their toast right, can’t repair their broken bananas, make them wear […]

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In Times of Stress- Add Connection

When my boys were little, they went to a daycare center that had a great reputation but when they moved from the baby room to the toddler room, something started to rub me the wrong way. The teachers just weren’t as patient, weren’t as nurturant. They started bragging about how well the kids handled things […]

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The Price of Privilege- a rough month…year…decade…for men

I walk a fine line in my work. I want to honor and support all my clients. Most couples I see are heterosexual so that means there are two women in my office and one guy. And I know therapy is based in more traditionally female skill sets- vulnerability, communicating about feelings, focusing on relationships […]

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A World at Half Staff

How are we supposed to feel? Each day, on my drive to work I watch the seasons change in the colors of the trees. I see the beauty of letting go, of summer losing out to fall and know what comes next. Because I get to cross the river on Cedar most days, it is […]

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Wonder and Delight- inoculate against stress

Anxiety is on my mind this week. Professionally I consider it the common cold of mental health- shows up a lot and responds well to treatment. Lately I have been considering the bigger picture of the huge increase in anxiety we are seeing in both parents and in our kids. Some facts- research shows as […]

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Never Forget How Lucky Your Kids Are- to have you

Parenting matters. Of course it does. I love being a parent. Last week I celebrated 33 years of mothering…happy birthday Nate! I love teaching parenting classes but I struggle both personally and professionally to keep it in perspective. First- let’s look at what childhood is like in our country. Almost half of our country’s kids […]

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Resist the Urge- the guide to less freaking out

I was asked to offer Stop Yelling for a company training.  Not all their staff are parents so we wanted to make it more general than parenting. As I was teaching it last night I realized how parenting without losing our shit is the same as having a tough conversation with our partner without freaking […]

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