How Prince’s Death Became a Generation’s Midlife Crisis

Last Thursday the news came, on Facebook and in texts, in whispers throughout Minneapolis. Our hometown hero had died. An electric current immediately flashed through me. The file in my brain marked 1980-1984 snapped open and I remembered everything. Music and sightings, deep friendships, and lost loves, and dance, so much dance. Prince is the […]

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Our Violent Reaction to Being Hurt

The number one thing that couples fight about is not what you might think. We always fight about getting our feelings hurt. We argue about the dishes and money and time but it isn’t a fight until someone’s feeling get hurt- and someone’s feelings always get hurt. And the gloves come off. Attachment relationships mean […]

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Can Parenting Be Important but not so Serious?

I blame psychology. I have no idea how old I was when I learned about self esteem, positive thinking, dysfunctional families and codependency. It certainly wasn’t in college, it wasn’t even in school. Everyone knows just enough psychology to know that everything is really your mother’s fault. Come on- just think about it. If you […]

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Simplicity sounds easy but not for me….

I started reading Simplicity Parenting (Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M Ross) because I heard it was great for parents with ADHD kids. I thought it might have some things to support my often overwhelmed 14 year old. Instead… I […]

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You Might Be a Pushy Parent- I Was

I am sure that none of you were the pushy parents who were so poorly behaved at Pez’s Easter Egg Hunt last week. Missed it? Check this out.   What kind of parents bowl over toddlers for a few pieces of free candy? You might be surprised. I think I might be guilty of this. Maybe you […]

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No One Asks Darth Vader for Advice- Unpacking Authoritarian Parenting

On a mainstream parenting group there was a discussion about whether or not to make your toddlers say please and thank you. Obviously all parents want their kids to grow up to be polite and have manners and more importantly be respectful and appreciate others. That isn’t the divide when we talk about parenting. The […]

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If 3 year olds could vote- I’d beat Trump

Last Saturday, when it was an amazing 70 degree March day in Minnesota I had the honor of offering my Coaching Kids through Big Feelings class to over 40 parents. People who could have been outside. People who could have been doing anything more selfish than learning to get past their own stuff and give […]

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Teaching Our Kids the Vibrant Art of Emotions

Each of us is born with the full natural human range of emotions. Think of it like having the big box of crayons…the one with the sharpener. We come to the world able to express and feel 96 unique feelings…we just don’t have the labels yet. When we are little our feelings are raw and messy. When we turn three […]

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Can Anyone Get Past that Protective Coating?

We come into the world naked and vulnerable – at the complete mercy of the people we are born to. Then a bunch of stuff happens and we put on protective layers to keep from getting hurt, cover our vulnerability and hide the messiness of who we are. Fully clothed we try to bond with […]

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Confessions of an Imperfect Mom

As many of you know, I have been a mom for 31 years. I struggled a great deal with my first as a young, insecure, single mother of a kid with serious emotional and behavioral problems. Now as an old, cocky, married mom I look back and can see the things that I couldn’t see at […]

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