Making it through the dark nights

Rough week. It is so dark…and getting darker.   The winter solstice is still almost 2 weeks away. December 21st we mark the longest night and the fact that they aren’t going to get any shorter. The light wins… every December… so far. While Pagan families mark this season of Yule, Christians celebrate Christmas with […]

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Just a bunch of divorce musings…. When is it time to leave?

(If you see yourself in this week’s newsletter, you’re right…all of you who can’t decide, who want me to tell you what to do, who are waiting for a sign, who are so unhappy that it can’t be good for anyone. This time I really am talking to you…oh but not all of you…) I […]

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2016 Post Thanksgiving Commentary

Each year I sit down to write my newsletter on Thanksgiving morning before the festivities begin and set it to go out in the evening when the party’s over. Mostly I steal stuff from last years post and tweek it a bit. The best thing about holiday traditions is just how predictable they can be. […]

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Happy (Thanksgiving) Acknowledge My Privilege Day

I have a complicated relationship to Thanksgiving. I get to stay home and cook for my large extended family. My husband and I love the simplicity and low expectations around a day focused on one predictable meal. As a Catholic kid, I loved that it was the holiday we didn’t have to go to church […]

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Wiping my tears- Time for Service and Resistance

Wednesday was awful and I feared I couldn’t write, couldn’t see clients. Everyone I voted for lost. Today I woke up ready to fight. My progressive politics are an integral part of my Marriage Geek message- you are not required to read any further. I get it that lots of people don’t agree with me […]

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You Might Not be Fighting Enough

When a new couple comes into my office one of my first questions is “Are you fighting too much or too little?” By the time couples get to my office, the answer is usually they aren’t fighting enough. I have to say that if my practice was in some less Nordic state, I might get […]

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Becoming Mom/ Becoming Dad… old school

I get to work with the most amazing couples. They are progressive and educated and intentional about how they live, how they parent. Most of them consider themselves feminists and picked me at least in some part for the strong opinions I have. They’re my people. Most of the time, I didn’t get to meet […]

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Naughty Behavior at Target

Kids are terrible at Target. They demand stuff. They’re loud They run away. The touch everything They can’t control themselves. Everything and anything can cause a meltdown. At Target (where I spend way too much money and half my income) I hear “stop that”, “put that down”, “no, we are not buying toys today”, the […]

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Report cards, conferences, emails from the teacher and other things to freak out about….

T’is the season when we start hearing from our kids’ teachers- whether it is your first preschool conference in the teeny tiny chairs or your meeting with your kid’s high school adviser about college plans. I just want to remind you to check yourself. This is not about you. This is not an evaluation of […]

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Those Stupid F@#$%ing Clowns

Someone is having fun with us over anxious parents and our stressed out kids this week. What kind of asshole says “How about I dress up like a scary clown and wander around near kids like I’m a child abductor? Won’t that be funny?” Yesterday’s Strib– “A 15-year-old girl seized on the national “scary clown” […]

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