The one that isn’t really about Brad and Angelina

I love using celebrity gossip to talk about the marriage work in my office. (All I know about Angelina and Brad I got from People Magazine) There are two stories and those stories are connected but no one is quite sure how. #1  Brad is under investigation for child abuse by Children and Family services. […]

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School Zone- Proceed with Care

Whether your kids had a great week or are really struggling, it has been a big week. Sometimes we forget that kids experience stress just like we do and that the good stuff in life can be as stressful as the rough stuff. I was really excited for them to go back to school. I […]

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Thinking about Tomorrow

My boys and I are watching old episodes of Glee (to them Glee is an old show). Last night they were signing the Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop”.          Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow          Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here          It’ll be even better than […]

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Undoing Crappy Emotional Coaching

My 14 year old begins high school on Tuesday. He’s been a bit stressed about it. He said “I just wish people would stop telling me it’s going to be ok. They don’t know that and it feels like they’re lying to me.” A thread on Facebook discussing loss and stupid things people say- “It’s […]

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Men are Distant/Women are Moody

Between my personal life and my work- I do marriage 24/7. The greatest mystery to me is how we could socialize men and women so differently and expect them to play nicely. To women, men seem distant, emotionally unavailable, shut down, cold and when pushed angry. To men, women seem moody, intense, illogical, unpredictable and […]

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What is this Marriage Geek thing all about?

Notes from a Marriage Geek is a conversation about having kids and being married and building deep connections. It is about balance and attachment and forgiveness. It is about overcoming the hurts of the past and being compassionate with yourself along the way. I started writing Notes from a Marriage Geek 8 years ago. First […]

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The Best Mindfulness Doesn’t Happen in Our Heads

Criticism lives in our head. Compassion lives in our hearts. When hurt or scared most of us move into our heads where we feel safe and in control. When relationships overwhelm us we harden our hearts and think too much. We think about our partner’s mistakes, our kids’ struggles, our families weaknesses and our own […]

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Lessons Learned at Summer Camp

Oh great- the kids are teaching me life lessons again. Bear with me, the backstory of how I got myself into my current mess goes back in time. 6 years ago I took my boys (6 and 8) with me to visit their cousins at YMCA sleepover camp. Wait- it goes back farther than that. […]

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Attachment Wounds Pt 3

Attachment Wounds Pt 3 If all goes well in life, you get to navigate relationships from a position of secure attachment. If your childhood experiences or messed up adult relationships have screwed up that attachment you get anxious or dismissive, preoccupied or avoidant or some messed up combination of these are your relationship baggage. Intimacy […]

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Attachment Wounds Pt 2

(Or what I did over summer vacation) If you grew up with a pretty secure attachment to a primary caregiver, you know that your feelings and needs matter but do so everyone else’s. You can see the balance and take turns. If you grew up without your needs and feelings well attended to, you had […]

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