Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

A friend of mine just lost her grandfather and posted an amazing testimony to the positive impact he has had on her life.  It got me thinking about what I expect from the second half of my life. I have hit all the milestone- married, three kids, homeowner, professional. Even my commitment to working out isn’t really about getting somewhere but staying where I am.  Use it or lose it is my motto. “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”….pretty much right here, a few more grey hairs, kids just bigger and maybe a new couch? That’s it.

So what am I supposed to work on? I think about the group of elders in my life- my family, my mentors, the therapists whose work I have followed and what do they have that I don’t have?

When I look in the rearview mirror, I do appreciate the things I have  or have accomplished. But that isn’t really what I was doing. I went to school because I wanted to learn and make a difference and I wanted to create a better life for my family. I got married because I knew that it would challenge me to love better, it would take me to new places. And kids… why do we have kids? I joke that if people knew how hard it was, no one would do it but that’s not true. I had been a mom for 16 very hard years when I decided, with eyes wide open that I wanted more kids. There was another path- we call it the sports car path. Do we have more kids or do we travel and buy nice things? We picked kids…because of who we get to be. I suppose the road with the sports car had its own lessons but I don’t get to know.

I have no idea where I will be in 5 years. Life is certain to throw me some unexpected curves. I am no longer the Leading Lady in this story, I am a supporting character. My life will be about what others do, where others go. I may or may not be a grandmother in 5 years. I may sorry great losses and great rewards.
Mostly I get to be more me. Let’s be honest- I am not going to learn a new language or learn to play piano.  I might return to some hobbies I have been too busy for but only if they make me very, very happy. I just don’t have much to prove. I get to be bolder and more honest. I get to be patient and I get to say no without apology. I get to perfect and deepen my relationship skills. I get to have very long friendships. I get to be the wise one. Someday I hope to be an amazing grandmother whose family misses her greatly when she’s gone. That is a life worth leading.