If you’ve been following me for awhile, you know I love The Gottman Institute’s research. John and Julia Gottman have conducted over 40 years of breakthrough studies on marital stability and divorce prediction. The one statistic I seem to quote every week is “there is an 81% chance that a marriage will self-implode when a […]
Rumor has it that divorce is too easy. Rumor has it that people don’t try hard enough. Rumor has it that people treat marriage like it is disposable. I know some silly celebrities (and politicians) have a string of exes but I don’t know real people who do that. Ok Huff Post does have a […]
I love doing marriage work. It is deeply rewarding to be trusted with a couple’s most valuable resource at a time of fear and hurt. For 15 years I have studied the patterns, the stages relationships go through. I see how they get built, how they break down and how they heal. I ask people […]
(If you see yourself in this week’s newsletter, you’re right…all of you who can’t decide, who want me to tell you what to do, who are waiting for a sign, who are so unhappy that it can’t be good for anyone. This time I really am talking to you…oh but not all of you…) I […]
When a new couple comes into my office one of my first questions is “Are you fighting too much or too little?” By the time couples get to my office, the answer is usually they aren’t fighting enough. I have to say that if my practice was in some less Nordic state, I might get […]
I get to work with the most amazing couples. They are progressive and educated and intentional about how they live, how they parent. Most of them consider themselves feminists and picked me at least in some part for the strong opinions I have. They’re my people. Most of the time, I didn’t get to meet […]
I love using celebrity gossip to talk about the marriage work in my office. (All I know about Angelina and Brad I got from People Magazine) There are two stories and those stories are connected but no one is quite sure how. #1 Brad is under investigation for child abuse by Children and Family services. […]
Between my personal life and my work- I do marriage 24/7. The greatest mystery to me is how we could socialize men and women so differently and expect them to play nicely. To women, men seem distant, emotionally unavailable, shut down, cold and when pushed angry. To men, women seem moody, intense, illogical, unpredictable and […]
Notes from a Marriage Geek is a conversation about having kids and being married and building deep connections. It is about balance and attachment and forgiveness. It is about overcoming the hurts of the past and being compassionate with yourself along the way. I started writing Notes from a Marriage Geek 8 years ago. First […]
I am all about attachment. I focus on parenting in ways that helps me focus on my relationship with my kids and meeting their attachment needs. As a marriage counselor I use a lot of Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy work around creating secure attachments in romantic relationships I see the world through a relationship […]
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