I Do Love Dads

Old Navy got into hot water over this Father’s Day t-shirt. (It says Happy Father’s Day with highlighting to reveal the true message- It’s (really) her day. Funny how a bunch of professionals let that get through but it pissed us real folks off right away.

My father always reminded us (back in the olden days) that Father’s Day was the day with the most collect calls. No brunch- just call home collect. No respect.

Today’s dads are a transitional generation. They mostly want to be more involved than their fathers, gentler than their fathers, more hands on.

They feel enormous traditional pressures as well. They have to be the breadwinner and worry about the bills and retirement. Dads worry about the world and the environment and the future.

Good dads don’t miss t-ball or dance and they go on field trips and volunteer at school. They cook and do dishes and still mow the lawn. Although they may not be able to fix the car the way their dad could, they do fix the computer and can figure out how to move Netflix to the other TV.

Good dads are great husbands and share their feelings and cry at movies and remember Valentine’s Day and anniversaries and birthdays. They step up and step in and say they’re sorry.

I get to meet with lots of good dads each week. I see them making it up as they go along- finding their own way to be the kind of dad that their family, their kid needs. I see them struggle to ask for help or admit they’re lost. Mostly when I work with dads, in much the same way I work with moms, I see how hard it is to ask for help.

So to all the dads, Thanks! Thanks for raising the bar.

Thanks for making it no longer ok to just change diapers but for having an opinion on cloth diapers and detergents.

Thanks for making dinner, with veggies and cleaning up the mess afterwards.

Thanks for baby wearing and diaper toting and learning to install car seats really tight.

Thanks for keeping it real and asking for time off and calling in sick with a sick kid and leaving the meeting early to get there before childcare closes.

Thanks for biting your lip every time you really want to say “because I said so,that’s why”.

Thanks for all the sleep and sex and money and time you’ve lost out on because the kids come first.

Thanks for raising kids who get to see men nurture and care. The future is counting on them.