It is my circus and those are my monkeys
I am great at juggling 4 balls. The problem is I have 6 really important balls. At any given time, 2 balls are sitting at my feet a bit neglected…until I drop one and pick up one and still…I can only juggle 4 balls. I am in the final hours of preparation for the Twin Cities Birth and Baby Expo (my pet project). The signs are ordered…but not done. The programs are ordered but the folder machine broke down…being delivered tomorrow evening. We have last minute cancellations, registrations, changes and mistakes to fix. We moved locations this year so everything is different and anxiety is high. I doubt I will get much sleep tonight but I admit it…I do love it.
In my life the pendulum swings from overwhelmed to bored to overwhelmed and back again. I hate being bored. I don’t like life to get predictable. I hate saying no to great opportunities. I hate missing any party. So when my plate is full, it feels like I should take a break or get out of something or say no but I have been doing this long enough to know that I will never have a quiet life. That isn’t how I choose to run this improv that is my life.
I often have people in my office talking about how after (X) fill in the blank- school, this project, the kids are done with soccer, tax season, vacation, my sister’s wedding, the kitchen renovation is done…after that…then life settles down. But it doesn’t. This is the pace of your life. You can take a day off. You can get to yoga or meditate or exercise or read a book but you cannot wait until things quiet down.
Our culture is always busy, always tired, always overwhelmed and then always feeling guilty that this is how it is. Instead of the mysterious, fantasy someday when things quiet down that we are waiting for we need to get honest with ourselves. This is not an anomaly. This is not a phase.
What would you do if you got honest about just how crazy you like to make your life? Things that do not only have to happen “someday when life is quiet”.
- Playing, goofing off, vacation,
- Connection, phone calls, dinner, sex, snuggling, fights
- Art, music, spirituality, reading, meditation
- Exercise, eating better, quitting smoking, going to the doctor, dentist, losing weight
- Simplifying, cleaning, tossing stuff, “unsubscribing”, changing your mind
I don’t have it figured out that’s for sure..Maybe if I could slow down long enough to actually edit this piece and sleep on it… but that’s not going to happen. The only way that I write to you all each week is because I know I am always too busy to write and I do it anyway. Done is better than perfect. Next week…when the Expo is done and while working on my taxes (which I got an extension on because I was so busy in April) maybe next week I will take the time to notice how great it is to always wish I could do just a little bit more.
Maureen
Saturday…if you’re not too busy…come see my circus and my monkeys- The Twin Cities Birth and Baby Expo
