“Communication”- when couples come to me for the first time they often report that they have communication issues. “Communication issues” confuses even me. Of course they mostly speak the same language. Mostly they do talk to to each other- they can deal with the kids, the mortgage, the schedule but they can’t seem to have […]
Minnesota nice is the stereotypical behavior of people born and raised in Minnesota to be courteous, reserved, and mild-mannered. I love Minnesota- born and raised here and this week I can’t even hate the weather. I not only specialize in relationship counseling, but after 15 years I now specialize in Minnesotan relationship counseling. If a […]
Today is only February 9h- I can’t do Valentine’s Day yet. Here are some reruns. The one about Loving Up Husbands for Valentines Day and the one about Loving Up Wives for Valentine’s Day. For the past 15 years, since my second was born, I have been fascinated with the process of becoming a parent. Ok, in […]
Rumor has it that divorce is too easy. Rumor has it that people don’t try hard enough. Rumor has it that people treat marriage like it is disposable. I know some silly celebrities (and politicians) have a string of exes but I don’t know real people who do that. Ok Huff Post does have a […]
I love doing marriage work. It is deeply rewarding to be trusted with a couple’s most valuable resource at a time of fear and hurt. For 15 years I have studied the patterns, the stages relationships go through. I see how they get built, how they break down and how they heal. I ask people […]
In November 1980 I was 17- the last year I didn’t vote. Ronald Reagan was elected and I was devastated. The end was near. This warmonger was going to have his finger on the button. When I look back, it is easy to dismiss those fears…well because they didn’t happen. The past is nothing if […]
Try this- read this to yourself (or out loud…interesting at work) I want my kids to feel (insert feeling) mad- sad- worried- abandoned- frightened- bored- embarrassed disappointed- insecure- foolish- guilty- lonely- ashamed- rejected- tense You ok with that? These are the feelings that we have decided are “negative” feelings… obviously these are the uncomfortable ones. […]
I think I found a New Year’s intention…. it might sound weird but I am taking a radical stand against positive thinking. I am enthralled with a new book- The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking by Oliver Burkeman. I will admit that I am only on chapter 3 but I have […]
And we know how hard babies can be. I get that ya’ll want to tell 2016 to fuck off but have you given any thought to what 2017 means? Baby New Year is bringing some serious challenges and we’ve got some work to do. The year we’re dumping has revealed much of the dark underside […]
Thank you wonderful community for all you give me each year. You are my audience and my inspiration. I am wrapping the week up early… modeling authentic self care. Remember that those people only make you crazy because you love them. Remember you make someone crazy too. How about I share this lovely poem with […]
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