Category / Attachment / emotional intelligence / Parenting
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Can Parenting Be Important but not so Serious?
I blame psychology. I have no idea how old I was when I learned about self esteem, positive thinking, dysfunctional families and codependency. It certainly wasn’t in college, it wasn’t even in school. Everyone knows just enough psychology to know that everything is really your mother’s fault. Come on- just think about it. If you had been parented better, understood better, supported better you’d be taking on the world today,…
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Can Anyone Get Past that Protective Coating?
We come into the world naked and vulnerable – at the complete mercy of the people we are born to. Then a bunch of stuff happens and we put on protective layers to keep from getting hurt, cover our vulnerability and hide the messiness of who we are. Fully clothed we try to bond with someone who looks strong and safe underneath all their layers. We start this weird game…
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What’s the Matter? Nothing- I’m Fine
We can judge the feelings of people we love in a heartbeat. Before they are even aware of a feeling it is in their voice and on their face. Something seems off…and it feels very personal. When something is off we have to ask- “What’s the matter?” “What’s the matter?” “Oh, I am so glad you asked. I feel so supported. It is great to know that you are paying…
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Let’s admit it- 90% of my fans are wives, most of them with husbands and most of what is out there about Valentine’s Day is ads for pink crap, flowers and candy. I covered the pink crap at Target and women’s needs around Valentine’s Day last year- https://www.marriagegeek.com/374 How about a little husband loving? Monday I am presenting at the 13th Annual Minnesota Fatherhood and Families Network Summit www.mnfathers.org so…
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BEST Parenting Book I have read in years
I found it! This is THE book. I never do this- buy this book. Read this book. Share this book. I wish I had written this book. This book is about babies and teens and homework and feelings and mostly about just how much work we as parents have to do on ourselves. Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn’t Work…and What Will by Shefali Tsabary. Now since you…
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Letting Go of Punishing
I have been studying and practicing positive parenting for at least 13 years. I struggled to find effective parenting 30 years ago with my oldest. I felt like if he was struggling it meant I had to do something, anything, more. I took his struggles personally. I felt like a bad mom. When we got help with what turned out to be a serious neurobiological illness I was off the…
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The Powerful Habit of Reconnecting
Couples fight. Parents yell. Siblings bicker. Kids have meltdowns. Parenting and marriage and life are messy. I got into it this morning with Joey, the 13 year old over socks. He was running late for school, I forgot he had student council, he had a rough night with sleep. It was just a bump but it was a rough bump right as he was walking out the door. I heard…
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The “Special” Glass
The other day, Zach (the 11 year old) said “The only thing I want to take with me when I move out is this glass… I mean if it’s still around’”. A couple of immediate reactions…”He’s planning his move out date? At 11?” followed closely by “Who knew- that glass?” It isn’t special. It has no historical importance. We didn’t get it on one of our amazing vacations. It wasn’t…
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Changing Your Yelling Response
On Sunday I had 47 people show up for my STOP YELLING workshop. 47 parents who want to do better with their kids. This stuff makes me so happy! I yell at my kids. Not as much as I used to and rare enough that I feel confident teaching a class on the subject. Be highly suspicious of people who don’t yell at their kids… not sure but alien pod…
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Sending the kids off to school….Now what?
Labor Day is here! The kids are all going off to school and parents everywhere are doing the happy dance. If you’re an old momma like me, you’ve been down this road before. September I get the house back, I find a few extra free hours and I don’t have to feed them over and over again. Even though I work full time, my kid’s summer schedule highly disrupts my…
