Category / emotional intelligence / Marriage / Mindfullness / Parenting
-
![]()
Deep thoughts on a rainy day
One of the greatest gifts I get from my work is being in a lot of psyches. I get to see how everyone is struggling, insecure, irrational and unpredictable. The human condition, especially in relationship, is really messy. Each of us have weird, inexplicable reactions, perhaps from our childhood, perhaps from our temperament, perhaps hormone driven that we wish we didn’t have. If I had a magic therapy wand, I…
-
![]()
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
A friend of mine just lost her grandfather and posted an amazing testimony to the positive impact he has had on her life. It got me thinking about what I expect from the second half of my life. I have hit all the milestone- married, three kids, homeowner, professional. Even my commitment to working out isn’t really about getting somewhere but staying where I am. Use it or lose it…
-
![]()
Sending the kids off to school….Now what?
Labor Day is here! The kids are all going off to school and parents everywhere are doing the happy dance. If you’re an old momma like me, you’ve been down this road before. September I get the house back, I find a few extra free hours and I don’t have to feed them over and over again. Even though I work full time, my kid’s summer schedule highly disrupts my…
-
![]()
Ashley Madison and other Online Scams
This isn’t the first time Ashley Madison has hit the news. I wish I had their PR person. AM is naughty and people are obsessed with it- it is titillating, raunchy, dangerous and we can’t help but look. As the Marriage Geek- I have a long history of being intrigued with the messy world of relationships. Remember that silly Pina Colada Song (1979!)? I wasn’t even old enough to have…
-
![]()
Thanks for putting up with me- it’s been 7 years!
On August 21, 2008 I had the crazy/brave idea to start Notes from a Marriage Geek. (September 2009 I started the FB page.) Most Thursdays I waiver between inspired and freaked out about getting this out to you all. 7 years of writing have given me both a voice and an audience. I love how much I have been challenged and grown since that first post. Here it is- an…
-
![]()
Asking is Super Scary
Left to my own devices I can get pulled into the abyss that is my own thinking so I listen to library books on my phone. I like having someone else’s voice in my head while walking and driving- especially someone inspiring and entertaining. I just finished Amanda Palmer’s The Art of Asking-How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help. Amanda is rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED…
-
![]()
Are You Parenting on the Same Page?
The metaphor that I use in“Parenting in Partnership” is driving the family minivan. When we all try to get somewhere- one of us does the driving and the other one is navigating, sleeping, arguing with the kids, on the cell phone… but not driving. Most drivers hate having our driving critiqued. No one wants a “back seat driver”. My children somehow think yelling “feedback” to me from the backseat is…
-
![]()
Do You Have Ugly Money Fights?
Couple’s fight about money. Solving that problem would solve all my money problems but fighting about money will likely follow us to our future very expensive nursing homes. Couples fight about money because money is about justice and care and having a voice and feeling secure. We fight because we’re hurt and scared and we fight because our parents fought about money. Here are a few classic money fights. Financial…
-
![]()
Monsters Under the Marital Bed
When couples come in with high discord, low connection they say the right things- they want to be closer, they care about their partner, they don’t want to end things…but something big is in the way and they haven’t been able to find each other. We all have baggage- impact from past relationships, with family, doubts about ourselves, hurts from other love affairs. We also have demons- things that we…
-
![]()
Change might be scary but the alternative….?
Status quo bias is an emotional bias; a preference for the current state of affairs. The current baseline (or status quo) is taken as a reference point, and any change from that baseline is perceived as a loss. Status quo bias means that we place a higher value on something that we have then on some future thing. What we have is important to us and we hate giving up…
