Category / Mindfullness / Relationship Advice
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Summer’s Over- Back to Work!
Time to get moving…. I took 3 months off of my blog (to be clear… I did not get the summer off…full time case load but no workshops, no writing.) After 9 years, I needed some time to clear my head, some space to think things through without sharing… not my usual MO at all. I missed you all. Weirdly being alone in my head doesn’t make things easier. Maybe…
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A Meditation on Times of Uncertainty
In November 1980 I was 17- the last year I didn’t vote. Ronald Reagan was elected and I was devastated. The end was near. This warmonger was going to have his finger on the button. When I look back, it is easy to dismiss those fears…well because they didn’t happen. The past is nothing if not predictable. In November 2008 my sweet 4 and 6 year old kids witnessed my…
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I want my kids to feel lousy… well… kind of
Try this- read this to yourself (or out loud…interesting at work) I want my kids to feel (insert feeling) mad- sad- worried- abandoned- frightened- bored- embarrassed disappointed- insecure- foolish- guilty- lonely- ashamed- rejected- tense You ok with that? These are the feelings that we have decided are “negative” feelings… obviously these are the uncomfortable ones. The rules of the game for giving your kids emotional resilience and a deep emotional…
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I’m Done with Positive Thinking
I think I found a New Year’s intention…. it might sound weird but I am taking a radical stand against positive thinking. I am enthralled with a new book- The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking by Oliver Burkeman. I will admit that I am only on chapter 3 but I have been highlighting like mad and re-reading, looking things up in a way that hasn’t happened…
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Baby New Year is On Its Way
And we know how hard babies can be. I get that ya’ll want to tell 2016 to fuck off but have you given any thought to what 2017 means? Baby New Year is bringing some serious challenges and we’ve got some work to do. The year we’re dumping has revealed much of the dark underside of our culture. Our country is divided, people are frightened and change is not coming…
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It is my circus and those are my monkeys
I am great at juggling 4 balls. The problem is I have 6 really important balls. At any given time, 2 balls are sitting at my feet a bit neglected…until I drop one and pick up one and still…I can only juggle 4 balls. I am in the final hours of preparation for the Twin Cities Birth and Baby Expo (my pet project). The signs are ordered…but not done. The…
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School Zone- Proceed with Care
Whether your kids had a great week or are really struggling, it has been a big week. Sometimes we forget that kids experience stress just like we do and that the good stuff in life can be as stressful as the rough stuff. I was really excited for them to go back to school. I was missing the structure of the school year but I forgot about the being on…
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Thinking about Tomorrow
My boys and I are watching old episodes of Glee (to them Glee is an old show). Last night they were signing the Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop”. Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here It’ll be even better than before, Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone Joey said- “Wait a minute, I…
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The Best Mindfulness Doesn’t Happen in Our Heads
Criticism lives in our head. Compassion lives in our hearts. When hurt or scared most of us move into our heads where we feel safe and in control. When relationships overwhelm us we harden our hearts and think too much. We think about our partner’s mistakes, our kids’ struggles, our families weaknesses and our own shortcomings. When we are connected to our feelings, we remember that people are mostly doing…
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“Right Now, Can You Make an Unconditional Relationship with Yourself?”
I stumbled across this video this week. I preach taming the voice in your head, that you are either your own best friend or your own worst enemy and most people who are their own best friends have much easier lives. Walking around day and night with your worst enemy bitching at you is exhausting. I think I’m pretty good at this but that video got me thinking. Unconditional? Maybe…
