Category / Attachment / emotional intelligence / Mindfullness
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I admit it, my instincts can be all wrong
I love the idea that parenting is instinctual. I wish that my gut reaction to my kids was always right on. Instead I swing between worrying too much to not worrying enough. My instincts are fed by my past and my socialization. My instincts are muddied by the Today Show and Facebook telling me what everyone else thinks are important. My instincts tell me that I am not enough for…
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Simplicity sounds easy but not for me….
I started reading Simplicity Parenting (Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M Ross) because I heard it was great for parents with ADHD kids. I thought it might have some things to support my often overwhelmed 14 year old. Instead… I think the book is mostly about me. I resist structure- it cramps my style, limits…
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If 3 year olds could vote- I’d beat Trump
Last Saturday, when it was an amazing 70 degree March day in Minnesota I had the honor of offering my Coaching Kids through Big Feelings class to over 40 parents. People who could have been outside. People who could have been doing anything more selfish than learning to get past their own stuff and give their kids a better shot at emotional wellbeing. It was a fantastic tonic after consuming…
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Teaching Our Kids the Vibrant Art of Emotions
Each of us is born with the full natural human range of emotions. Think of it like having the big box of crayons…the one with the sharpener. We come to the world able to express and feel 96 unique feelings…we just don’t have the labels yet. When we are little our feelings are raw and messy. When we turn three we start to play big with feelings. Three year olds pick a color- anger, frustration, fear,…
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No More Emotional Bubble Wrap
I love the term “Free Range Parent”. I identify strongly as a parent who lets her kids roam, find their limits and explore the large world they live in. I also let them fall a lot. My kids rock climb and swim and roller blade and mountain bike because I love how confident it makes them feel. As the mother of 3 boys I am committed to not shutting down…
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Letting Go of Punishing
I have been studying and practicing positive parenting for at least 13 years. I struggled to find effective parenting 30 years ago with my oldest. I felt like if he was struggling it meant I had to do something, anything, more. I took his struggles personally. I felt like a bad mom. When we got help with what turned out to be a serious neurobiological illness I was off the…
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The New Calendar Starts Tomorrow!!!
What a lovely day to reflect. Time to buy a new calendar for the family- mostly we all use Google but I hold onto one on the fridge for the visual impact. 2016 brings lots of predictable stuff… we live through winter and in March I will be done with my last baby being 11…my hardest parenting year with all of them. 12 sounds so good and then Joey turns…
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You can’t move forward without letting go
There isn’t enough money to be made in research for happiness and long term relationships so we often have to borrow from research that is done to make sure we all spend a ton of money on Black Friday on crap we don’t need. Status Quo Bias is a theory on how we measure worth, value and happiness. Status quo bias means that we place a higher value on something…
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Why I Hate November
I kind of hate November. It is the darkest month of the year in Minnesota but that isn’t it. I love Thanksgiving- I mean the day, the one where I make two turkeys every year just to ensure we have left overs. I love that day. I don’t really like the “giving thanks” part. I was raised Catholic- maybe that is where I got the message that the goal was…
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Want to mess with people? Tell them you’re not busy
This might be my most radical, rebellious,countercultural position but I am not busy. I refuse to be busy. I am just not going to do it. I’m not ready to give up gluten or sugar or caffeine or my microwave but I gave up busy. I have a full plate- I work 30-40 hours a week. I actively parent 2 kids. I have two dogs, a cat, a husband, a…
