Category / emotional intelligence / Parenting
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Those Stupid F@#$%ing Clowns
Someone is having fun with us over anxious parents and our stressed out kids this week. What kind of asshole says “How about I dress up like a scary clown and wander around near kids like I’m a child abductor? Won’t that be funny?” Yesterday’s Strib– “A 15-year-old girl seized on the national “scary clown” craze and posted on Facebook a violent threat to residents of many Twin Cities communities,…
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School Zone- Proceed with Care
Whether your kids had a great week or are really struggling, it has been a big week. Sometimes we forget that kids experience stress just like we do and that the good stuff in life can be as stressful as the rough stuff. I was really excited for them to go back to school. I was missing the structure of the school year but I forgot about the being on…
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Thinking about Tomorrow
My boys and I are watching old episodes of Glee (to them Glee is an old show). Last night they were signing the Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop”. Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here It’ll be even better than before, Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone Joey said- “Wait a minute, I…
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Undoing Crappy Emotional Coaching
My 14 year old begins high school on Tuesday. He’s been a bit stressed about it. He said “I just wish people would stop telling me it’s going to be ok. They don’t know that and it feels like they’re lying to me.” A thread on Facebook discussing loss and stupid things people say- “It’s for the best” or “God has a plan” or “God doesn’t give you more than…
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What is this Marriage Geek thing all about?
Notes from a Marriage Geek is a conversation about having kids and being married and building deep connections. It is about balance and attachment and forgiveness. It is about overcoming the hurts of the past and being compassionate with yourself along the way. I started writing Notes from a Marriage Geek 8 years ago. First it was just an email newsletter and a year later I added Facebook and Twitter.…
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The Best Mindfulness Doesn’t Happen in Our Heads
Criticism lives in our head. Compassion lives in our hearts. When hurt or scared most of us move into our heads where we feel safe and in control. When relationships overwhelm us we harden our hearts and think too much. We think about our partner’s mistakes, our kids’ struggles, our families weaknesses and our own shortcomings. When we are connected to our feelings, we remember that people are mostly doing…
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Lessons Learned at Summer Camp
Oh great- the kids are teaching me life lessons again. Bear with me, the backstory of how I got myself into my current mess goes back in time. 6 years ago I took my boys (6 and 8) with me to visit their cousins at YMCA sleepover camp. Wait- it goes back farther than that. I didn’t go to sleepover camp. I had a couple of nights of Girl Scouts…
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Attachment Wounds Pt 3
Attachment Wounds Pt 3 If all goes well in life, you get to navigate relationships from a position of secure attachment. If your childhood experiences or messed up adult relationships have screwed up that attachment you get anxious or dismissive, preoccupied or avoidant or some messed up combination of these are your relationship baggage. Intimacy scares you or emotions and needs scare you. Because you are terrified of being hurt…
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#BlackLivesMatter
I woke up yesterday in a foul mood. My vacation didn’t go well. As usual, high expectations mixed with family of origin issues, parenting under duress and way too many hours in the car led to lots and lots of hurt feelings. I messed up some stuff and am having a hard time getting past it. Then I saw the morning news. Philando Castile was shot and killed and my…
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I Do Love Dads
Old Navy got into hot water over this Father’s Day t-shirt. (It says Happy Father’s Day with highlighting to reveal the true message- It’s (really) her day. Funny how a bunch of professionals let that get through but it pissed us real folks off right away. My father always reminded us (back in the olden days) that Father’s Day was the day with the most collect calls. No brunch- just…
