So many people are talking about “You are a Badass” that even though my New Year’s resolution is to read fewer books I fell for the hype.
I should have known better- the subtitle is “How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life”. Doubting my greatness has never been my struggle… getting crap done other than just enjoying my awesome life is more of a struggle. And I always get jealous of self help gurus who are making a ton more money than I am… even though I never doubt my greatness. Of course Jen Sincero finished her book… and then sold over 2 million copies. Maybe I should pay more attention. It is a lovely Laws of Attraction book…like all the other Laws of Attraction books I have read that tell me to change my attitude and love myself. It is a great mood booster but I struggle with it’s message that seems to blame victims, ignore trauma and injustice and over promise the power of positive thinking.
Speaking of Badasses- I did catch Oprah’s Gold Globe speech and all the presidential speculation this week. I love Oprah… but cannot imagine her putting up with the crap that POTUS would require. But she inspires me.
Which got me thinking… and crafting… maybe because I was supposed to be working on my own soon to be best seller. Here’s my personal collection of famous Badassers.
I could make another one of the women in my real life who have staked their place on this planet. I am lucky to come from Badass stock. I surround myself with women who are fierce and bold and unapologetic. I love such an amazing group of women- business owners, parents, artists, activists, rabble-rousers, troublemakers all of them.
We don’t need Oprah to save us, we need to save ourselves. We need more voices, more stories, more speeches, more businesses, more power, more influence.
My self help less than positive thinking goals for January-
Get angry. Break stuff. Swear. Write on the walls. Throw a temper tantrum. Slam some doors. “Anger and even rage are adaptive reactions to feelings of abandonment, giving us energy to protest and change unhealthy emotional situations.” Lindsey Gibson (From my still favorite self help book of 2018.) Time for some change.
How rude! Fewer apologies, pleases and thank yous. Most of us were trained at a very young age to be dangerously polite. I have always considered the opposite of nice is honest. Don’t say please when setting a firm limit. “Do not talk to me that way!” is a limit, “Please do not talk to me that way” is a request…which will likely be refused. Don’t say sorry for the weather or for people’s feelings or breathing or for other people’s crap. Don’t thank people who don’t deserve appreciation. Send the wrong food back. Tell someone they’ve disappointed. Then thank them for following through.
Piss them off. When writing my book, I was coached that if you aren’t pissing someone off, you aren’t saying anything interesting. So challenge someone. Speak the truth. Be BOLD.Don’t try and piss anyone off, just don’t work so hard at not pissing people off.
Be selfish. Stop making concessions and compromises and half assed requests. Start from a full strength position of power- ask for it all. This requires getting in touch with what exactly it is that would be wonderful. Shoot for the stars and land on the moon.
Scowl. Smiles or a pleasant small talk only when it feels genuine. Authenticity in tone, in action, in words.
Be raunchy! Reclaim sexuality and beauty and lust and passion. Figure out how to be true to desire and romance and sexual connection. Self determined. Journaling or brainstorming or window shopping. What feels sexy? Feel like a “bad girl” or a “frigid bitch”… be it. Don’t let anyone else’s ideas about how it is suppose to be limit what is possible.
Blaze a trail! Living is an example to those around us…for good or bad. People are watching. Refuse to be invisible or discounted or dull. This week…give them something to talk about.