Why I Hate November Rerun

This was my personal FB post this morning- “Evidence that I should not be in charge of my own schedule… today I have 7 clients scheduled, Zach’s conferences scheduled over my lunch hour, I am on call for the Helpline…which has been hopping all week, I am committed to posting a blog post before bed and I am in total last minute Expo meltdown mode. The trick is going to be charting everything the minute it happens as there is no mental load space to remember anything that happened 15 minutes ago.”

I did it. I made it through an amazing day, didn’t run out of gas, took a few calls, saw wonderful clients and mostly breathed… not sure if I ate… on my way home soon with the last to do being my blog post… so as wonderfully full and rich and challenging my life is right now… I am cheating and using a very appropriate post from 2015. I’m sure you’ll forgive me, right?

I kind of hate November. It is the darkest month of the year in Minnesota but that isn’t it. I love Thanksgiving- I mean the day, the one where I make two turkeys every year just to ensure we have left overs. I love that day. I don’t really like the “giving thanks” part. 

I was raised Catholic- maybe that is where I got the message that the goal was to be so saintly that you never complain about anything. You’re not supposed to have sore feet when some people don’t have legs. My mother did a lot of  “there but for the grace of God” when we saw homeless or disabled people. I know that I don’t deserve my “grace” or privilege any more than others deserve their struggles.

Gratitude is good for the soul. Guilt sucks the life out of me. Feeling guilty that I don’t feel grateful is what I hate about November. I suck at gratitude.

Am I really supposed to wake up every day (especially in November) and spend the day thankful of all I have? Do people do that? My these are lovely socks I have. Isn’t coffee amazing? I am so glad my beautiful children are healthy and determined enough to argue with me again today.

Here’s my commitment. I am working on noticing. Mostly noticing how good people are. I ended up being the only person in yoga class this week and somewhere in the middle of down dog I noticed that I had a wonderful human being focusing all of her attention on me. Taking care of me. Just noticing.

I noticed this week that my kids were bugging me, stalling for bedtime and totally goofing off… together. They were bugging me together. I noticed how close my boys are, how much they share the joy of  making their mother crazy.  Just noticing.

I noticed that mostly the people at Target and McDonald’s and the doctors office all want to be helpful. They do. They get paid but what makes their day is being helpful…to me. I can’t promise you that I will keep a gratitude journal or post 30 days of things I am thankful fo. I suck at gratitude. I want things to be better. I have high expectations and mostly focus on what isn’t going right. But I promise, I am working on noticing. Mostly I am working on noticing what I always forget to notice- that people are amazing and I’ve got it pretty great.

Thank You As Fuck Notecards available on Pinterest. 

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