Parenting Information Overload

Sometimes I feel like a social science experiment.

In the last century I become a mom at 21, going it solo, working on my under grad degree and pretty broke. Not poor… I had way to much family support to ever feel poor.

In this century did it again- two more times- at 38 and 40. I was a psychologist, married and by this time I had figured out that you almost always feel broke, and not poor if you have enough support.

Let me be very clear. I have found it much harder to be a mom in this century. Honestly, I can only blame the internet. I love Facebook and Google as much if not more than the next mom but what else can it be?

In 1984 I had a library card, the hospital birth class, Target and my mom.  I read a couple of books, I took the class, I made a wish list of stuff from Target and I asked Mom a ton of questions. I took her advice or I ignored it. I compared what she said to what I had experienced and what I had read. I tried stuff and seriously, even at 21, learned to trust my instincts. When his pediatrician made me feel bad that my huge baby had gotten even bigger being exclusively breastfed I didn’t like him and got a new doctor…one who trusted me. (This doctor recently retired…and was Nate’s doctor for 33 years.) I can’t remember how or when I stumbled onto Mothering Magazine but I know its influence was pivotal. A friend told me he hoped I wouldn’t be one of those weird moms who wear their babies in slings.

When Joey came along in 2002, I had acquired tons of experience, read tons of books and I had dial up at home but broadband at the office. Yahoo was the top search engine (#2 with a bullet Google), I moved from Mothering magazine to Mothering.com. I read hundreds of books and articles and joined the Mothering.com forum. I had 10x the choices of Target at BabiesRUs but hadn’t yet been seduced by the world of Amazon. A friend of mine told me she hoped I wouldn’t be one of those weird crunchy granola moms who wear their babies in slings.

Somehow, the seeds of doubts began to form.

Too much information, too many choices simply increased my isolation and forced me to choose parenting camps. I took a side. I found my tribe. In order to defend my choices, I had to make other people’s choices wrong. I was research based and psychologically committed and willing to make enormous sacrifices for my already enormously privileged child.

I picked bed sharing and no spanking and no cry it out and attachment and breastfed and low tech and natural birth…honestly nothing that different than I had from my heart 18 years earlier. But back then, I mostly minded my own business and didn’t see parenting as political or philosophical. I just raised a kid.

I try really hard not to be part of the problem. I filter tons of articles so you don’t have to read crap. I do research and continuing ed professionally so you can go outside and play. I want you to feel certain and know that you are enough.

Please be kind to other parents. Please be kind to yourself. Love. Love deeply. Read less. Play more. Sleep. Find your joy. Trust your instincts, trust your gut, trust your kids, trust your love.

Maureen

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