Deep thoughts on a rainy day

One of the greatest gifts I get from my work is being in a lot of psyches. I get to see how everyone is struggling, insecure, irrational and unpredictable. The human condition, especially in relationship, is really messy. Each of us have weird, inexplicable reactions, perhaps from our childhood, perhaps from our temperament, perhaps hormone driven that we wish we didn’t have.

If I had a magic therapy wand, I wouldn’t take away your struggles because these are the things that help you connect and be empathetic and be vulnerable. Without the weirdness, you’d be so simple that the battle to find someone who gets you wouldn’t matter.

Instead of a magic therapy wand, I want a magic mirror- one that shows you that the parts of you that you struggle with are the parts that people are drawn to. I would give you the awe of the beauty in your humanity and imperfection.

We wish we weren’t insecure. We hate feeling needy. We wish we had great self esteem and a positive body image and thick skin and were endlessly patient and forgiving and generous. But then what would we need other people for?

When you see what you look like when you are hurt, you learn to invite people to comfort you.

When you see what you look like when you are overwhelmed, you get to ask for help.

When you see what you look like when you fear losing connection, you get to be reassured.

When you see what you look like when you are angry, you get to have people make amends.

When we admit we have needs, other people get to be there for us.

Stop trying to be perfect, it isn’t going to happen. Embrace your struggles and be messy and real. There are only two tasks ahead- accept your own imperfection and learn to love others inside of theirs.