Is Doing Your Kids’ Homework Unfair Privilege?

Most of us are pretty pissed about the college bribery scandal. Such a great example of greed and privilege and how the system is rigged against our most vulnerable. Those people! Don’t we kind of love to watch the mighty fall?

It is easy to call out the lack of integrity when it is so egregious. And those aren’t my people. I would never do what they did…because shit, I could never afford to do what they did even if I wanted to. But I wonder…am I cutting corners? Am I over using the power that I have? Am I fighting for all kids or just for mine?

Integrity- the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

If I want my kids to live with integrity, I know that how I influence that is by the example I set- the way that I live.

When do you lie to your kids? What little white lies or lies of omission or half truths or easy outs do you take to avoid problems?

When do you lie for your kids? What do you tell their teacher or their dad or the doctor? What discounts do you take? What do you fail to mention so they don’t get in trouble?

When do you make life easier for them? What work do you do for them? What corners do we cut to protect them? Do we ask for them to have special treatment?

When do you let your fears for them overcome your commitment to your values? Are you guilty of greed or abusing your privilege or having blind ambition? Are you making excuses for your own behavior? Are you being honest with yourself?

What are you willing to take on to set a great example for your kids.  

I want my kids to grow up to manage the struggles life is going to throw at them with grace and courage. I want my kids to fight for justice for all. I want my kids to earn their place. I want my kids to care more about the person they are being and the path they are taking than the outcome.

Personally I have a long way to go. Being transparent, admitting mistakes, owning my shortcomings scares the hell out of me. I can tell that I have an opportunity for growth by the sick feeling in my stomach that tries to convince me that it isn’t that big of a deal. I think- no big deal,  no one will know or it isn’t worth it or what difference does it make. I am working really hard to notice my cop out voices and lean in. Or notice that I did it again and face the truth about myself- that integrity takes work and I am very often full of shit. That’s facing the truth. Integrity is a work in progress that requires an enormous amount of courage.

This means I have to slog through tons of disappointments and frustrations, hurt feelings and fears. This means get to keep owning my mistakes and trusting that learning to be a better person is messy and hard. No shortcuts. No cheating.