Author / MaureenCampion
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Thinking about Tomorrow
My boys and I are watching old episodes of Glee (to them Glee is an old show). Last night they were signing the Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop”. Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here It’ll be even better than before, Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone Joey said- “Wait a minute, I…
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Undoing Crappy Emotional Coaching
My 14 year old begins high school on Tuesday. He’s been a bit stressed about it. He said “I just wish people would stop telling me it’s going to be ok. They don’t know that and it feels like they’re lying to me.” A thread on Facebook discussing loss and stupid things people say- “It’s for the best” or “God has a plan” or “God doesn’t give you more than…
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Men are Distant/Women are Moody
Between my personal life and my work- I do marriage 24/7. The greatest mystery to me is how we could socialize men and women so differently and expect them to play nicely. To women, men seem distant, emotionally unavailable, shut down, cold and when pushed angry. To men, women seem moody, intense, illogical, unpredictable and when pushed a little crazy. (I acknowledge gender conforming, hetero-normative stereotypes that do not describe…
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What is this Marriage Geek thing all about?
Notes from a Marriage Geek is a conversation about having kids and being married and building deep connections. It is about balance and attachment and forgiveness. It is about overcoming the hurts of the past and being compassionate with yourself along the way. I started writing Notes from a Marriage Geek 8 years ago. First it was just an email newsletter and a year later I added Facebook and Twitter.…
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The Best Mindfulness Doesn’t Happen in Our Heads
Criticism lives in our head. Compassion lives in our hearts. When hurt or scared most of us move into our heads where we feel safe and in control. When relationships overwhelm us we harden our hearts and think too much. We think about our partner’s mistakes, our kids’ struggles, our families weaknesses and our own shortcomings. When we are connected to our feelings, we remember that people are mostly doing…
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Lessons Learned at Summer Camp
Oh great- the kids are teaching me life lessons again. Bear with me, the backstory of how I got myself into my current mess goes back in time. 6 years ago I took my boys (6 and 8) with me to visit their cousins at YMCA sleepover camp. Wait- it goes back farther than that. I didn’t go to sleepover camp. I had a couple of nights of Girl Scouts…
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Attachment Wounds Pt 3
Attachment Wounds Pt 3 If all goes well in life, you get to navigate relationships from a position of secure attachment. If your childhood experiences or messed up adult relationships have screwed up that attachment you get anxious or dismissive, preoccupied or avoidant or some messed up combination of these are your relationship baggage. Intimacy scares you or emotions and needs scare you. Because you are terrified of being hurt…
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Attachment Wounds Pt 2
(Or what I did over summer vacation) If you grew up with a pretty secure attachment to a primary caregiver, you know that your feelings and needs matter but do so everyone else’s. You can see the balance and take turns. If you grew up without your needs and feelings well attended to, you had a choice- fight like hell to get your needs met somehow or cut off from…
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Attachment Wounds Pt 1
I am all about attachment. I focus on parenting in ways that helps me focus on my relationship with my kids and meeting their attachment needs. As a marriage counselor I use a lot of Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy work around creating secure attachments in romantic relationships I see the world through a relationship and attachment lens. As I look at the people in my life, in my practice…
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#BlackLivesMatter
I woke up yesterday in a foul mood. My vacation didn’t go well. As usual, high expectations mixed with family of origin issues, parenting under duress and way too many hours in the car led to lots and lots of hurt feelings. I messed up some stuff and am having a hard time getting past it. Then I saw the morning news. Philando Castile was shot and killed and my…
