Category / Marriage
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More Stuff I Wish Men Knew…about Themselves
Brene Brown said- “Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” This got me thinking about my favorite topic- how to be more helpful to men, who don’t like therapy, who don’t like self help or parenting books, who don’t share their struggles easily and who are the ones “dumped” in 80% of divorces. First of all, shame has gotten a bad rap. We…
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Emergency Husband Alert Network
Please share. As 96% of my readers are female it is going to take some effort to reach the super secret husband network. If your children are old enough to have jobs and cars- ignore this warning. Those kids are on their own. If your children are not old enough to drive to Target-please pay attention. Sunday is Mother’s Day. I know- it is a Hallmark Holiday. We can and…
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How Do You Think People End Up Divorced?
I have been working with a client who is increasingly disappointed in her husband’s behavior- which at times feels emotionally abusive or sabotaging. The other day she had one of those wonderful “aha” moments- “I used to think that people got divorced because they wanted to get divorced. I am going to end up divorced and it isn’t what I want at all.” Yes! People can be so damned judgemental…
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Building a Strong Home Base…because the people you love make you crazy
Joey and I had a rough morning. He missed the bus because he was bugging his brother and his new amazing Nike socks actually take time to get on and his glasses weren’t where he left them. He was screwing around and teasing me. He was being 13. I as trying to get both boys out the door while doing my paperwork and scheduling the next few days of meetings.…
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Spring Fever and I’ve got Sex on the Brain
(Honestly reading and loving American Savage- Dan Savage 2014 helps as much as the sun does.) Sex is important to relationships. It is. I kind of wish I could tell you it isn’t a big deal but it is right up there with sleep and food. Of course since most people in our culture are totally screwed up about food and totally sleep deprived, not such a surprise that we are…
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Sorry- I suck at matchmaking
Occasionally and only rarely, I end up seeing a couple who are in the early stages of their relationship- still deciding if they want to commit/marry. I have to warn them, I am really great at helping couples deepen their commitment, repair relationship damage, help people come to a decision about the recommitting or ending a relationship but I have no idea how to pick em. I just don’t. 15…
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Great Parenting Advice is Great Marriage Advice
I share tons of articles on Facebook each week. For every “how to have a great marriage” article I find, I can find 10 “how to be a great parent” article. I branded myself “the Marriage Geek” but find it easier to show people how to be with their kids then it is to be with their partner. Once kids come along, so much of our patience and understanding and…
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When people ask about my kids I say I have one grown son and two little ones. The “little ones” turn 11 and 13 this week. Not quite ready to say I have three grown sons but I can see that future. In the Amazing Marriage 101 class that I have been teaching since they were in fact little- I walk through the tough stages of marriage with little kids.…
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Following Your Instincts Can Seriously Mess You Up
I love the idea that we should listen to our instincts, follow our heart and do what feels right intuitively. And perhaps if we had all lived stress free, emotionally supported lives this would be a fantastic plan. Instead, that little voice is laden with fears and reactions, tied to trauma and loss, neglect and criticism. Amy, who was raised in severe poverty finds it hard to know when she…
